| EasyEW: | *LOG at 6/3/2003 10:44:18 PM* Topic: I was born in this chatroom, what's your excuse? |
| Ska: | *MSG* Seriously, I'm vaguely paranoid about stuff like this |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* i can definitely fuck any of your bitches, guys |
| Ska: | *MSG* I was an accident, honestly. |
| EasyEW: | *TOPIC at 6/3/2003 10:44:34 PM* Here we go again... |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* I dunno man, she's pretty devoted. |
| Ska: | *MSG* And I'm thinking that my super-sperm can't be stopped by the Pill |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* my sperm is fucking WAITING |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Um... wear a condom? |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* You think your little swimmers have chainsaws too? |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* PATIENTLY WAITING FOR A BITCH TO EXPLODE ON |
| Ska: | *MSG* Well the condom is all fine while I'm just dating |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Tan, coming to a bitch near you. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* "The next time I come. it's gonna be like a wax dart shooting out of my dick." -- Bill Hicks |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* no doubt |
| Ska: | *MSG* But when I'm married, that's the end of my condom days |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* "All hotties eat the jizz" - Necro |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? |
| Ska: | *MSG* Yes. |
| Ska: | *MSG* Yes I would. |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* "You'll recognize my girlfriend as a woman with one eye." |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* hahahaha |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* max~~~~~~~ |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* I got ~~~~~ |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Sweet! |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* hahahaha |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* "I'll buy you a dog baby, PLEASE just blow me..." |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* i squirt ~~~~~~~~~~ |
| Ska: | *MSG* In fact, I would hope to retire the condoms once I get engaged |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* "I'll buy you a car if you swallow!" |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Bass~~~~ |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* retired condoms... |
| Ska: | *MSG* Of course, I'm assuming I'll ever have sex again in my life |
| Ska: | *MSG* Which is a bit of a reach |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Like an old folks home for peacetime veterans |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* "Yeah, I never saw action either..." |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Maybe Janey will get really drunk one day. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* They'll cure AIDS someday. That day, EVERYONE will get laid. |
| Ska: | *MSG* No joke |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* "It's OVER...WOO-HOO!" |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Of course, everyone will get the clap, but at least it won't be AIDS |
| Ska: | *MSG* I've had condoms that have outlasted WALLETS |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* hahahaha |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* post-AIDS hysteria...i can't wait |
| Ska: | *MSG* that's why I haven't bought a new wallet in like 5 years |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* You will have sex again. You will go to Florida, you will meet a fly honey |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* raping women without a condom won't seem so horrid in retrospect |
| Ska: | *MSG* Because I can't bear to replace a wallet before I have to buy condoms |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* bahaha |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* no condoms means thinner wallets |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* and thats all men want |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* THINNER WALLETS |
| Ska: | *MSG* What no |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* I keep them in a box. Leaves room in my wallet for ID and such. |
| Ska: | *MSG* I want a big-ass thick wallet full of $50s |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* can thick wallets are a bitch to put in my jeans |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* now we're shooting a little high |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* No you don't. You want a small wallet with an ATM card, so you can get fifties whenever you want without getting ass cramps when you drive. |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* np Anthrax "Safe Home" |
| jacitha: | *PART* Left room. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Took us longer than I though to scare her off |
| Ska: | *MSG* I guess I'm weird... I put my wallet in my front pocket |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* so do I |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Pickpocket paranoia, eh? |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* I never ever put it in my jacket |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* so do I |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* i hate putting my wallet in my asspocket |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* so i started putting it in my front pocket |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* it feels unnatural |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Front pockets are for keys, change, and misc. Back pockets are for wallet, phone numbers, and business cards. |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* fuck that ideal. |
| Ska: | *MSG* Nothing is ever in my back pocket |
| Ska: | *MSG* I don't like the thought of my money being that close to my ass-crack, especially after going to Taco Bell |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* That's why you don't have pockets on your jockeys... |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* That's an image that'll keep me up at night |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* hahaha |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* The thought of my money having ben sprayed by Ska's gordita farts |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* ... |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Dropping the Chalupa, indeed. |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Dude, if you use high denomination bills, your money's been in somebody's nose anyway. |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* or very close, anyways |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* That is probably higher than a 20 |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* possibly a g string |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Is that kinda like how all money has blood on it? |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* All smeared with traces of cocaine. |
| Ska: | *MSG* Working in a bank has shown me how positively FILTHY bills are |
| Ska: | *MSG* After my first day, my hands felt like I'd been in a garage all day |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* That's why you take a shower after you roll around naked in it, right? |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* That and how filthy bank employees are. |
| Ska: | *MSG* What's really fun is when you don't even have to look at the deposit slip to see what business is bringing in money |
| Ska: | *MSG* *sniff* Ahhh, must be Long John Silver's |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* LJS`````` |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* haha |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* My first job was as a cook at LJS |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* that smell of fish may not be the fast food kind, Ska. |
| Ska: | *MSG* I dunno what it is with LJS |
| Ska: | *MSG* But it's got that permeating deep-fried-grease odor |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* That's because everything is deep-fried in vats of hot oil. |
| Ska: | *MSG* haha |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* cooch can be deep fired, I'm sure |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* fried* |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* But breaded? That's a little out there. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* That'll chafe, man |
| Ska: | *MSG* Back home, I know kids who would be dead-ass broke after going to the mall or what not, so they'd go to the local LJS and get an order of those crunchy things and a glass of water for like $.30 |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* LJS figured it out, and quit making the little crunchy things. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* :( |
| Ska: | *MSG* Of course, I think you can still get 2 hush puppies for like a quarter |
| Ska: | *MSG* Which is just as horrifing |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* hush puppies`````` |
| Ska: | *MSG* I love those things |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* god damnit this bitch aint gonna call me |
| Ska: | *MSG* But two is about all I can handle |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* i just know it |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* and i refuse to call her. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* You know why they're so nice and dark? Because the oil they're fried in is at least five days old. |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* call her and demand head |
| Ska: | *MSG* Oh man |
| Ska: | *MSG* You're joking |
| SvenDawg: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| Ska: | *MSG* SVEN |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Where I worked, we rotated the oil from vat to vat, from left to right. The hush puppies were always to be cooked in the vat all the way on the right. |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* HIYA SVEN |
| Ska: | *MSG* Oh dear lord |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* SVEN |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* HUSH PUPPIES~! |
| Ska: | *MSG* When I was younger, I could eat LJS anytime |
| Ska: | *MSG* Now I can just barely stomach it |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Those are the most evil yet good things I've ever tasted. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* You could cook clams or cheese sticks in the far right vat if you absolutely had to. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Don't eat the clams at LJS |
| Ska: | *MSG* And anyone who wants to bring a "fast food causes obesity" case to court in the USA is missing the boat by going after McDs.... they need to sample one of those Variety Of Deep Fried Death Platters from LJS |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Never had either of those. But I used to gorge on hush puppies before, you know, I started caring about what I ate. |
| WORLDWIDER: | *PART* Left room. |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Yeah, but LJS predicates itself on serving high-fat food. Mickey D's tries to hide it. :) |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* "Duh, I thought fish was good for you, duh!" |
| Ska: | *MSG* Three chicken planks, two fish filets, two hushpuppies, fries, ALL OF IT SWIMMING IN GREASE GREASE GREASE |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* You forgot the batter-dipped shrimp |
| Ska: | *MSG* Oh of course |
| Ska: | *MSG* 95% batter by volume, of course |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Responsible for countless scars on my knuckles |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* I don't think I ever bled into the vats, but I wouldn't be surprised. |
| Ska: | *MSG* Well |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* (Are you grossed out yet?) |
| Ska: | *MSG* I'm off the LJS trip now |
| Ska: | *MSG* Luckily, I've got lots of lunch options by my work |
| Ska: | *MSG* I should start hitting Subway every day |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Yeah well, people who file those suits are fat slobs who should have their wrists slit by ravenous manatees with really fucking big knives |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* We have cheaper seafood in town anyway. |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* and what you NEED to do is hit the farmer's market or somethin' |
| Ska: | *MSG* I can't wait 'til I move and I can start getting sushi for lunch every day |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* make your own stuff so you know what's going INTO it. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* I'm gonna sue the people who make Wild Turkey for making me puke in my driveway in front of a house full of people. it caused me emotional distress. |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* DUDE, you can get sushi HERE |
| Ska: | *MSG* Pittsburgh isn't really a "sushi" kinda town |
| Ska: | *MSG* It is a "SAMMICH" sorta town |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Things have to be deep-fried and/or swimming in butter and onions |
| Ska: | *MSG* or fries |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* You can't really deep-fry sushi |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Pittsburgh is a twon that likes things that are edible |
| woodhave1: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| Ska: | *MSG* haha great Futurama |
| Ska: | *MSG* EVIL HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS |
| woodhave1: | *PART* Left room. |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* I was in a Sushi phase for a while last summer. It went away. |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* I've tried Sushi once. It was decent, but expensive. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Only had sushi once, in the Village. It wasn't very good, but that's because the place I went wasn't good. |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Hehehehe. This EA Ditty importer is the most diabolical invention I've ever seen. |
| Ska: | *MSG* I tried it in FL and it ruled |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Tortonto' |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* OMG MISTER T on DAILY SHOW |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* TO's filled with good cheap sushi places. |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Comes with the territory of being Asian central, I suppose. Same thing with Indian and Thai restaurants. |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Holy shit, Sammy got tossed for a corked bat? |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* MISTER T~! |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Yep |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* EVEN MOMMA T |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* And I laugh at him |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Lower case T's |
| Ska: | *MSG* Heh |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Would you say it's more Jibbah or Jabbah |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Sosa will say the illegal bat was used for batting practice, but somehow got mixed in with his game bats. He will add that he has never used a corked bat in a major league game before tonight. |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* ? |
| Janey271: | *PART* Left room. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Did you hear the story about Jason Grimsley breaking into the umpires room to steal a corked bat? |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* There's no way they're going to be able to spin this. |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* he's an american icon, man. |
| Ska: | *MSG* Yeah, the Albert Belle debacle |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* That's still legendary. :) |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Corking didn't screw with the rep of Howard Johnson. Or Belle, for that matter, though that might be because he was a lunatic anyway |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* I swear to God, Mister T is a HELLUVA good sport |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* he is |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* He'll be suspended for a few games, he'll come back, and everyone will forget about it. |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Belle was caught with that bat and people were surprised he wasn't using aluminum or something. :) |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* he said that jibba or jabba line with a straight face |
| Ska: | *MSG* I wonder what kind of suspension he'll get |
| Ska: | *MSG* 3 games, I guess |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* 5 games? |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Five would seem about right. I mean, it's not like he was tearing it up this year or anything. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* I'll guess five, but he'll appeal and the appeal magically won't be heard until after interleague play is over. |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Yeah, can't have him miss that Yanks series. |
| Ska: | *MSG* heh |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* I still don't get why they always delay the appeal until after a team passes through NY. What, baseball's so out of step that they haven't heard of a teleconference? |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Off the DVDVR board: WWE DVDs are on sale (WM is $16, for example) |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* It's because they can't stop doing it after they've started. The players' union would freak out if the players didn't get to pick what games they'll miss. |
| Ska: | *MSG* I'm pissed that the Pirates game got axed tonight |
| Ska: | *MSG* They were gonna wear the 1903 uniforms! |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* A doubleheader against the Sox means a victory in the second game, if you can get into the bullpen in the first game. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Look at it that way. |
| SonnyChiba: | *PART* Left room. |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Why wait? The Jays have scored 10 runs off the Sox five times this year or something like that. They're bad enough pitching every day. :) |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* I think the next two spots in the rotation are Kim and Wakefield. |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* DAMN. Just realised that I bought the Rey DVD at regular price a couple days ago. |
| Ska: | *MSG* Tomorrow is Kim vs. Benson |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Oh, god, Vince and Hogan are on the XIX cover. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Not Burkett, Lowe, Chen, or Fossum, all of whom pitch like I play the French horn. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* That is, BADLY |
| Ska: | *MSG* Chen got designated, I think |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* He did. I just remember him getting LIT UP. And they thought he'd replace Pedro in the rotation |
| Y2JMark79: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| FireThunder: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| Ska: | *MSG* BUTCH |
| Ska: | *MSG* LONEY |
| FireThunder: | *MSG* Somehow, I just can't put Norman Bates ahead of Darth Vader... |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* IF YOU KNOW LIKE I KNOOOOOOOW YOU DON'T WANNA STEP TO THIS |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* IT'S THE G-FUNK ERA BOMBED OUT WITH A GANGSTA TWIST |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* BUTCH == NATE G |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* NATE DOGG |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* AND IF YOU SMOKE LIKE I SMOOOOOKE THEN YOU'RE HIGH LIKE EVERY DAY |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* AND IF YOUR ASS IS A BUSTA 619 WILL REGULATE |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* People, give me songs to download and plug into NHL2002. |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Since I'm not like Ted and aren't going for pinpoint accuracy on the songs played at each arena. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* The version of Rock and Roll Number Two that's all about Doctor Who |
| FireThunder: | *MSG* Duh... Links? |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Song 2 by Blur |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Bumblebee Tuna by Mephiskaphiles |
| Ska: | *MSG* You can do that? |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Another One Bites The Dust, obviously |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Crazy Train |
| Ska: | *MSG* The Jaws music for powerplays |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Oh, Where's Your Head At by Basement Jaxx for the penalties |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Also for penalties: either Renegade by Styx or I Fought the Law |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* At the first hockey game they had at the Verizon Wireless Arena in Manchester, the first thing they showed on the big screen was the beginning of Slap Shot |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* With the goalie on the talk show talking about penalties. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Get that. |
| Ska: | *MSG* Man, I'd love a baseball game where I could do that |
| Ska: | *MSG* Anytime John Rocker came in, I could have it play "Underground Town" by the Toasters, which is a song about the NYC subway |
| Ska: | *MSG* Of course Rocker's career is over now, which is just as satisfying |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* It sure is |
| SvenDawg: | *MSG* Indeed. I've got most of those, actually... well, not Bumbebee Tuna. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* That song whips ass. They played it at my wedding |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* OOOOOO |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* I heard that the Padres signed Rod Beck. Anyone else hear that? |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Win a party with headliner....LEWIS BLACK |
| FireThunder: | *MSG* Yes they did. |
| FireThunder: | *MSG* DA SHOOTA |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* I did |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* But that's local |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* I hope he takes his trailer to San Diego. |
| Ska: | *MSG* I read the article about him living in a trailer just past the right-field fence in the Iowa ballpark |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* I wonder if he's going to get music |
| Ska: | *MSG* That sounds so awesome |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* He can use "Hell Bent And Whiskey Bound" |
| FireThunder: | *MSG* I wish I could have visited him and drank some beer with him before he packed his stuff and took off... :( |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* The Boston radio guys were saying today that Beck was hosting about 25 fans at the hotel bar after Lowe's no-hitter a couple years ago. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Beck should take the mound and a Bill Brasky clip should play |
| Ska: | *MSG* haha yes |
| Ska: | *MSG* "Bill Brasky -- he's a big sonofabitch, about 9-foot-6 --..." |
| WORLDWIDER: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| FireThunder: | *MSG* TO BILL BRASKY |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* ITS BIGGER THAN HIPHOP |
| Ska: | *MSG* THIS GAME IS CALLED ON ACCOUNT OF SCOTCH |
| FireThunder: | *MSG* HE'S MY FATHER |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* FUCK THESE FAKE RECORDS |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* "So Brasky's got these half pit bull half thorobred animals, vicious and sleek. He raises them like his kids and puts his kids in a kennel. One day, he finds one of the dogs clamped into the maid's neck, blood shooting everywhere. So with tears in his eyes, Brasky shoots the maid." |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* I once saw him scissor kick Angela Lansbury |
| Ska: | *MSG* TO BILL BRASKY |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* BILL BRASKY |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* BILL BRAAAAAAAASKY |
| Ska: | *MSG* You know, it was the sight of Braskys naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane! |
| Ska: | *MSG* He showers in grain alcohol!! |
| Ska: | *MSG* He uses the Shroud of Terin as a golf towel!! |
| Ska: | *MSG* He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident!! |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* We're baptizing my son, and the doors of the church FLY off |
| Ska: | *MSG* He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls!! |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Brasky comes stumbling in and says "I'll baptize that piece of calamari for ya," then pours his scotch right in my son's eyes! |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* And he's BLIND to THIS DAY! |
| Ska: | *MSG* He once ate the bible while water skiing!! |
| Ska: | *MSG* God damn, that's good stuff |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* NP: R. Kelly and Jay-Z ft. Devin the dude "P.U.S.S.Y." |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* I go to China on a research project |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* huh |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Find this restaurant, and one of the waiters is 7'9" |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Goes about 400 |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Come to find out his name is Cho Lin Brasky |
| Ska: | *MSG* So, I'm in the back of a pickup with Bill Brasky and a live deer! Well, Brasky, he grabs the deer by the antlers, looks at it and says, "I'm Bill Brasky! Say it!" Then he squeezes the deer in such a way that a sound comes out of its mouth - "Billbrasky!" It wasn't exactly it, but it was pretty good for a deer! |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over th... |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!' |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* ha |
| Ska: | *MSG* Bill Brasky once gave me a videotape of him having sex with my wife, and it was the most beautiful damn thing I ever saw! |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* His poop is used as currency in Argentina. |
| kingm0b: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| kingm0b: | *MSG* FUCK ALL BITCHES |
| Ska: | *MSG* So Brasky yells, "I'm Bill Brasky and no one gets me wet!" So he climbs into the tank, grabs Shamu and throws the whale into the audience, splashes him and yells, "How do you like it?!" And then damn if Brasky didn't step in there and finish the show! |
| EasyEW: | *TOPIC at 6/3/2003 11:38:06 PM* TO BILL BRASKY |
| FireThunder: | *MSG* TO BILL BRASKY |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* BILL BRAAAAAASHSJS |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi. |
| Ska: | *MSG* Anyways, Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for eight months straight. When he woke up, he rubbed his eyes and said, "All in all, I prefer gin!" |
| Ska: | *MSG* Brasky's family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong! |
| Ska: | *MSG* He breast-feeds John Madden! |
| Ska: | *MSG* They use Brasky's foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Yankee Stadium! |
| Ska: | *MSG* Anyway.. Braskey taught his son to drive by entering him into the Indy 500. The kid wrecked, and died. Brasky said, "It would have happened sometime!" |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* If you drop a phonograph needle on Brasky's nipple, it plays the Beach Boys' 'Pet Sounds.' |
| Ska: | *MSG* We once had a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake.. before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* So, Brasky and I stumble out of the bar one night |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Somehow he enters me in the Kentucky Derby |
| Ska: | *MSG* Brasky went public with his own buttocks.. and made $7 million. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* I'm actually going neck and neck for half a mile because Brasky's cracking the whip |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Brasky opened a convenience store in his nutsack, and DAMMIT IF THE PROPERTY VALUE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD DIDN'T GO UP |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Suddenly, I break my leg and just as the trainers are about to put me to sleep, someone yells out god bless 'em "DON'T SHOOT HIM, HE'S HUMAN!" |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Bill Brasky has a toenail on the hend of his penis! |
| Ska: | *MSG* need a refill |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Brasky never needs a refill... |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* He pisses MD 20/20 |
| kingm0b: | *PART* Left room. |
| Ska: | *MSG* TO BILL BRASKY |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* BILL BRASKY |
| Ska: | *MSG* Anyway.. Brasky decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits! He stomps and chews every one of them with a machete. They all begged for their lives.. except.. Fleagle! |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* TA BLAH BROSSSSSKI |
| Ska: | *MSG* Well, that was fun |
| Ska: | *MSG* I must give credit to snltranscripts.jt.org |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* I had never heard of Bill Brasky until tonight. |
| rubes3: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* I don't watch SNL |
| rubes3: | *MSG* Hello All |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* awwww, I wrote my own material |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Are you Bill Brasky? |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* that's why there was so little of it. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* The nutsack line was a good one |
| Ska: | *MSG* 3zy, yours was right on-track |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* (and that's not a sentence that I thought I'd ever say) |
| Ska: | *MSG* In fact, an actual transcripted line... |
| Ska: | *MSG* Darryl Hawkins has a summer home in Brasky's groin! |
| rubes3: | *MSG* Sorry to bother you all.. |
| rubes3: | *PART* Left room. |
| FireThunder: | *MSG* FUCK OOF |
| Ska: | *MSG* He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom! |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* They say he bleeds peppermint vodka! |
| Ska: | *MSG* Truly wonderful sketches |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* oh yah |
| Ska: | *MSG* Although I think this site is missing one |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* im so confused |
| Ska: | *MSG* Because I could've sworn there's one where John Goodman talks about Brasky throwing his kid into a minivan door |
| Ska: | *MSG* Tan... |
| Ska: | *MSG* snltranscripts.jt.org |
| Ska: | *MSG* Search for "Bill Brasky" |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* He pisses farm fresh orange juice! |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Ska: I think I remember that one... |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* NP: Hikaru Utada "Simple and Clean" (the song from the Kingdom Hearts ads) |
| KatCollu: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| SvenDawg: | *PART* Left room. |
| SonnyChiba: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| KatCollu: | *PART* Left room. |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* 'Lo |
| Ska: | *MSG* SO MUCH ACTIVITY |
| Ska: | *MSG* AAAAAAAAAHHHH |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* ? |
| Ska: | *MSG* nothing |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* How did this happen? |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* i hate women |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* We were almost dead an hour ago |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* I think a hole got ripped in the space-time continum |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Bill Brasky did it |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Caused by a sonic fart? |
| armorwil: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| armorwil: | *PART* Left room. |
| Ska: | *MSG* TO BILL BRASKY |
| Ska: | *MSG* ACTION drinks |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Bill Brasky had a four day heart attack, a day for each chamber |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* At his autopsy, they said his heart looked like a basketball filled with ricotta cheese |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* haha |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Is this the story where he sat up and asked for a spoon right after? |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* I can't remember, what's he from? |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* I dunno |
| Ska: | *MSG* SNL |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* ah yes |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* The character of Johnny Appleseed is based on Brasky |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* I'm just riffing at this point... |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Except for the apple tree planting and not raping men |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* He once gave a hand job to a manta ray |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* hahaha |
| Ska: | *MSG* Ewwww |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* I didn't know Manta Rays had dongs |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* The movie Deliverance was based on Brasky's experiences as a kindergarten teacher |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Only the male ones do. |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* One day...true story... |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Brasky burst into a Catholic mass, stuck his penis in the sacramental wine, and screamed at the top of his lungs "WHERE'S YOUR MESSIAH NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW?" |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* And you know what else? The priest DRANK IT |
| Ska: | *MSG* haha |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* oh hell yeah |
| Ska: | *MSG* TO BILL BRASKY |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* BILL BRASKHGIYDHSGY |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* haha |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* TA BAH BRASSKADIKIE |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Wait wait wait |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Brasky was once on the show Let's Make A Deal |
| Ska: | *MSG* One time Brasky had the son of a 9/11 fatality on his show, then tried to verbally tear him a new asshole with no regards to tact, logic, or sanity! |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* I FUCKING HATE WOMEN |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* There. |
| Ska: | *MSG* Wait, that was Bill O'Reilly |
| Ska: | *MSG* nevermind |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Long story short, he fucks up and gets the old washer and dryer set |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Thank you, Ska Franken |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Everyone starts laughing at him until he drops his pants, runs on stage, and has sex with BOTH appliances |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* It was so touching it made Wink cry |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* oh yeah, i found the MP3 of Franken and O'Reilly going around |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Bill Brasky once got his wife pregnant, and she gave birth to a sixteen-ounce steak. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* The afterbirth was sauteed mushrooms |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* hahaha |
| Ska: | *MSG* aww man, when did Lupin the III get back on at midnight? |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Jesus Christ asked Brasky for an autograph |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Obviously they finished Trigun |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* And Brasky spits in his face and says GET A REAL JOB, HIPPIE |
| Ska: | *MSG* Nah, Trigun's on at 1am |
| Ska: | *MSG* Too damn late for me |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* well there ya are |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* All of Cream's album covers are Brasky's family photos |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* they got rid of LEGEND |
| Ska: | *MSG* Thank god |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* np Soilwork "Rejection Role" |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* so Trigun's right after INU YASHA |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Inu Yasha's a person, right? |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Inu Yasha's a half-demon, half-person |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Close enough |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* in search of the 7-Souls Jewel to become a REAL...demon |
| WORLDWIDER: | *MSG* ... |
| WORLDWIDER: | *PART* Left room. |
| FireThunder: | *PART* Left room. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Nice job, Easy |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Well, I think I know what transcript is being posted on the board |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* I said TWO SENTENCES |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* hahaha |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* and alladasudden they can't HANG |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* good lord you should have seen last night's carange |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Butch was there |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* LAST NIGHT~~~~~~~ |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* he knows of what I speak |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* and HEY, you were the one who asked...you get to wear this fine albatross necklace |
| Ska: | *MSG* heh |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Dammit, I miss one night of chat |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky and I went to Vegas? |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* no, ya didn't |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Brasky blows 5K in 10 minutes and in a fit of rage pulls my pants down and crams 3 quarters up my ass |
| Ska: | *MSG* What happened last night? |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* He pulls on my arm and stares me in the eyes for 10 minutes as I squirm in pain |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* He realizes nothing's going to happen, so he says "You always were worthless", coldcocks me, and takes my wallet |
| Ska: | *MSG* Well? |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Butch, explain |
| Ska: | *PART* Left room. |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Anybody wanna tell Ska what happened last night? |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* See, he says well |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* And then he LEAVES |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* When he comes back, I mean... |
| Action_Abe__Bomb_Squ: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| Ska: | *MSG* So |
| Ska: | *MSG* What happened last night? I went to bed kinda early |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* If you had grabbed the transcript before you reset the room, mebbe ya'd know. :P |
| Ska: | *MSG* Well screw you |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* It was race bashing chat night |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Me & Tanvir made fun of Keenon for being a zebra |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* He mocked us for being minorities |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* I think everyone got at least 3 or 4 good shots on Keenon |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* His shot on Tan was vicious |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Chemical Compound names~~~~ |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Come on, that half the golf course thing was pretty good |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* true |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* but even Tan laughed it was so mean |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* exchange between me and Keenon |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* "Quiet, Oreo." |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* "I'll stab you, whitey." |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* so is that chat gone, then? |
| Ska: | *PART* Left room. |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Apparently so. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Bah |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* When a room is reset, the logs connected with that room go away |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* :( |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* That hcat could have become APA legend, man. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* So what you're saying is: ALL SKA'S FAULT |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* So one day, Bill Brasky takes this huge shit. And when he wiped his ass, the stains on the toilet paper spelled out the log of last night's chat. |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* We'll lynch him later |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* TO BILL BRASKY |
| NPPYinzer: | *PART* Left room. |
| NPPYinzer: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* One day Brasky makes a donation to the local sperm bank |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* The genesis is sort of hazy but near as we can figure |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Brasky's sample CLIMBS OUT THE TUBE and into the other samples |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Eats them and assumes their form |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* heh |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* After that, everyone who went to that bank had a Brasky child |
| Angloman13: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Even the doctors, who apparently got followed home and impregnated while they were sleeping |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* But THIS is the kicker |
| Angloman13: | *PART* Left room. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Even...THE MEN. |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Brasky's jockstrap glows with the intensity of a thousand suns. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Brasky took a homeless man off the street once |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Fed him dinner, got him shaved and a fine new suit, lets him sleep over |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* 5 am the next day, Brasky pokes the homeless guy with the barrel of his gun and says, "You get a ten minute head start. RUN." |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* TO BILL BRASKY |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* I hear Brasky's The King Of Danger |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* TO BILL BRASKY |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Brasky played the lead in his college production of Hamlet. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* He skull fucked Yorick, and it asked for seconds. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Bill Brasky's favorite movie is A Fistfull Of Dollars |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Bill Brasky's SECOND favorite movie? The Princess Diaries |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Did I ever tell you about when he visited Africa? |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* About twenty-five years ago, Bill Brasky cut a fart in front of John Williams. John Williams recorded it, and used it as the main theme of Superman |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* It turns out that due to his efforts, Africa is now completely AIDS free. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Ah, Brasky |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* You know, Bill Brasky knows the pain of unrequited love |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* But only because guns don't have feelings |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* He did it by stabbing all the aids victims and tossing them into nearby ravines |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Problem solved. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* lmao |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* The mighty fist of Bill Brasky has numerous nicknames |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* But to the poor bastards on the Titanic, they will always call it Iceberg |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Well, I guess I'm done for the night |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Aw, man |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* I got Brasky stories for hours |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* TA BRAH BLARLAKSUSKY |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* TO BILL BRSSSSKKKKKKZZZ...... |
| EasyEW: | *MSG* Take 'em easy |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* zzzz.... |
| EasyEW: | *PART* Left room. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* PUSSY |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* As I was saying |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* TO BILL BRASKY |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* The #1 reason for divorce is a lack of communication |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* The #2 reason? |
| Yeah__I_m_a_BITCH___: | *JOIN* Entered room. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* BRASKY |
| Yeah__I_m_a_BITCH___: | *PART* Left room. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Bill Brasky was Bruce Lee's stunt double. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* The real reason Bruce Lee died? He pissed Brasky off |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Bill Brasky was bitten by a large cobra at the zoo |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* After three days of feverish sweats, the shakes, and diarrhea, the snake had a final seizure and died |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Brasky wnet to Vietnam |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Vietnam still ahs flashbacks of him |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* has* |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* You know the game Grand Theft Auto III? That's biographical. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* They cut out all the really hardcore stuff Brasky's done |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Years ago, Brasky had a one-night stand |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* The woman BEGGED him to stay but Brasky sticks to his guns, throws bus fare at her, and throws her down the block to the stop |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Two days later, Melissa Etheridge announced she was gay |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* hahaha |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Brasky was a roadie once |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* But the group broke up fighting over him |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* That Group? |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* The Beatles |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Shit, I got nothing. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* OOH |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* I'm out of Brasky stories. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* One time |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Brasky gets BLITZED |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Kisses a man |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* In fact, kisses him so hard, the testosterone flies out of the victim's body and he becomes a she |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* And that she? |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* You guessed it: Heidi Klum |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Brasky was bored once but all he had was a bunch of cinder blocks |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* so he built something |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Most people know it as Stonehenge |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* He calls it the Fuck Park |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* I heard that for $50, a prostitute once gave Brosky a handjob for four hours. She said it's the best money she's ever spent. |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* hahaha |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* In the coldest winter in American history, Brasky made Davy Crockett QUEEN of the wild frontier |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* hahahaha |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* One more before I go to bed |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* Brasky was tutoring this one kid once |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* But he gets frustrated |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* and bops the kid one |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* he hits him so hard it makes him a genius |
| SonnyChiba: | *MSG* the next thing you know, Einstein is writing out the theory of relativity like it's nothing |
| SonnyChiba: | *PART* Left room. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Max, you turning in? |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Yeah, I gotta get some sleep. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* One more story |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* I've got half a ton of gravel in my garage, and a big hole to fill in. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Let's hear it |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* There's a saloon in Arizona, about 1860 |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Crowded, popular |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* One day a man comes in and says, "BRASKY'S COMING! GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE!" |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Damn |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* So everyone gets the shit out except the petrified bartender |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* He remembers his boss saying if you hear that, take the cash out the register and run for the hills |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* He does it, but he trips and the money goes everywhere |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* And as he's picking it up, he sees a silouhette of a guy riding two bears at once |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* The guy kicks the doors open, they shatter on impact (wood) |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* He says, "Get me whiskey and stir it with a dynamite stick!" |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Bartender does it |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Then he says, "Another one! NO WHISKEY!" |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* Bartender does it, and says, "T-t-t-t-t-third one?" |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* And he hears: "Hell no! I gotta run, Brasky's coming to town!" |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* <-- applauds |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* I'm thinking of using some of these for my toast |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Do it. |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Of course, now that you said that, I'm stealing that idea for the next wedding I'm in. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* *shrug* |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* You're two time zones away |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* By Brasky law I can only rip off your arm and beat you with it |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Sounds fair. |
| Y2JMark79: | *MSG* see ya |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* That's what Brasky would do |
| NPPYinzer: | *MSG* Later. |
| NPPYinzer: | *PART* Left room. |
| Y2JMark79: | *PART* Left room. |
| Y2JMark79: | *LOG at 6/4/2003 12:48:04 AM* OFF [Last participant has left the room] |