3zy's note: Pat Barker is one of a long line of reg'lar fellas who don't come around much anymore.  Of course, thanks to the night he kicked everybody out of chat for being punted himself (I still have the bootmark on my ass), his legend will never truly be forgotten.  Go figure, we remember those types of things...

This log was posted originally posted on OraclesWar.com under the title "The Dangers of Delphi Chat", but since this whole section is based around that theme, I took the liberty of giving it a more context-sensitive title.

>** SASSYIS26 just joined "Smackdown Chat: No Longer Fat-Free" (14 members now) **
.Neurosis> Hello SassyI.
.BERRY> he he he hiya Sassy
SASSYIS26> hello all
.Nathan Loney> Hi Sassy.
.JetMet> Hey Sassy.
SASSYIS26> anyone from Canada?
.Patrick Barker> I am.
.Scott Christ> There are lots of people from Canada.
.Patrick Barker> I'm from Edmonton.
.Scott Christ> I just ain't one of them.
SASSYIS26> oK, MORE SPECIFICALLY, IS ANYONE IN THIS ROOM FROM tORONTO?
.Patrick Barker> I am.
.Patrick Barker> I'm from Toronto.
.Scott Christ> Heh.
.BERRY> No Sassy
.Doug Troy> I'M FROM CALGARY!  ALBERTA, CANADA!
.Mr. T> I'm from Calgary....AlbertaCanada.
SASSYIS26> PATRICK YOU SAID YOU WERE FROM EDMONTON
.Scott Christ> No he didn't.
.Scott Christ> He just said Toronto.
.JetMet> Sassy: Hit your CAPS LOCK button, OK?
.JetMet> OTHERWISE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE YELLING.
.Patrick Barker> SASSY LOSE THE CAPITAL LETTERS.  I'm from Toronto.  I don't know what you're talking aboot.
SASSYIS26> WHY, ITS FUN
.JetMet> Sassy: Knock it off, asshole/bitch (for whichever gender you
are).
.Patrick Barker> Sassy: I'm from Toronto... any other questions?
.JetMet> It's REALLY FRIGGIN ANNOYING!
.Neurosis> Gee Pat, I thought you were from Houston?
SASSYIS26> where in Toronto patrick?
.Nathan Loney> Pat-- I thought you were from England, wanker.
.Patrick Barker> Sassy: Ever hear of Washington Ave.
.Patrick Barker> ?
.Scott Christ> I live under a tarp by the SkyDome.
.Tan> Pat's a Canook - I remember that from his old Smackdown recap on [slash].
SASSYIS26> no, sorry
.Patrick Barker> Sassy: I live on Washington Ave in Toronto.
.Mr. T> I hide in Bret Hart's trash. That's where I live.
.Patrick Barker> Sassy: Do you know where the McDonald's is on the corner? I live near that.
.Mr. T> Pat: be nice. :-)
SASSYIS26> sorry, what is the major insection?
.JetMet> I live on Jabroni Drive in Toronto. It's at the corner of
Noyorole Blvd, and is right near the Smackown Hotel.
.JetMet> *Smackdown
SASSYIS26> intersection, sorry
.Patrick Barker> Sassy: It's between King's Highway and Toronto Pike...there's a 7-11... you've probably seen it.
SASSYIS26> yah, now I know
.Patrick Barker> You live near there Sassy?
SASSYIS26> no, I used to live by finch station, now im in pickering, for a short time
SASSYIS26> im moving to the danforth  area soon
.Patrick Barker> Ah.  Do you know Jim Fullington?  He lives in Pickering.
.Nathan Loney> The Hak Man!
SASSYIS26> yah and I know joe from Canada, lol
.Patrick Barker> He's my cousin... he went to the elementary school in Pickering.
> .Mr. T wonders if they are selling Canada clues around here.....
.Patrick Barker> You know him?  You ever hang out with Jim?
SASSYIS26> theres more then one elementary school in pickering, there are many.
.Nathan Loney> Pat-- You ever get attacked by a Caribou?  Or a grizzly?
SASSYIS26> i was joking, i don't know him
.Patrick Barker> Ah... he went to the one... I forget what it's called...there's a playground with these WHOMP ASS~! tire swings.
.Patrick Barker> Do you know the one I mean?
.Mr. T> Pat: Steve Corino Elementary, dude.
.Nathan Loney> The Old School, ya mean, T?
SASSYIS26> that really narrows it down
.Mr. T> the one on the outskirts? Remember, we used to GO there together!
SASSYIS26> lol
.Patrick Barker> Don't think so, T.  I'll talk to you when you know what you're talking about.  Ignore.
> .Ska-boom barely contains a chuckle.
.Scott Christ> They must've put all new tire swings in the rest of the playgrounds in Pickering.
SASSYIS26> dis
> .Mr. T snorts with laughter
.Patrick Barker> Sassy: you know the 7-11 I live near?  I live in a blue house with a pine tree out front... have you ever seen it?
SASSYIS26> no, sorry.
.Patrick Barker> So where do you live in Pickering?  Are you near the football stadium at the hich school?
.JetMet> Pat: Have you ever been by the Bowling Ally? She might know that, eh?
.Mr. T> C'mon, Pat. QUIT ignoring me. You know we used to ride our bikes anYou flowerboy jackasses are tuning out these great lines I'm having.
.Patrick Barker> Sassy... you know the one I'm talking aboot.
> .Tan is smiling as he realizes what's gonna on.
.JetMet> Sassy: You know, eh?
SASSYIS26> I live near pickering high
> .BERRY laughs her ass off
.Scott Christ> Pickering high sucks.  Your curling team blows.
.Ska-boom> Curling~!
.Patrick Barker> Sassy: Does Mr. Jackson still work in the math department at Pickering?
.BERRY> where?
.Mr. T> Scott: you were a skinny little punk! I STILL don't regret beating you up for your lunch money at Pickering High!
.JetMet> You know, our high school won the Provincial Curling title back
in 1990.
.Scott Christ> Yeah, well you could've pulled Joe Carter's giant ass off
of me!
SASSYIS26> Yes, and Mrs little too, do you know her
.Mr. T> Pat: Mr. Jackson was SO cool! He used to start out every class
with "Hello, sports fans."
.Patrick Barker> No... my dad went there... he had so many stories about Mr. Jackson.  How's he doing?
.Patrick Barker> Sassy: I swear I don't know Mr. T.
.Tan> Pat: Samuel L. Jackson? Michael Jackson?
.Scott Christ> Keith, I belive was his first name.
.Patrick Barker> Tan: I dunno... it was my dad's teacher.
.Mr. T> Keith Jackson~! He taught me the Pytharom thereom! Pat is just pulling your strings, Sassy!
.Tan> Pat: So he could've been Samuel L. Jackson...
.Doom> heh
SASSYIS26> patrick, what is located at the corner of dundas and yonge?
.Ska-boom> Wasn't he arrested for burning a barn?
.Mr. T> Isoceles Triangles!
.JetMet> You still here, Sassy? We want to get together with you at the
bar in 30 minutes.
.Patrick Barker> Sassy: I haven't been there in FOREVER!  It's... umm... damn, I forget.
.JetMet> We're all Torontonians, you know.
SASSYIS26> whatever, that was easy
.Neurosis> I'm not.
.Scott Christ> Jet:  We should go to that bar where D'Lo and Scott Hall
got in that fight.
.Mr. T> A2 + B2 = C2. Pat, I stole your Nintendo in '89, don't you remember?
.JetMet> Ska: Nah.
> .Tan sits back and chuckles.
SASSYIS26> ok lets all go to the skylight at finch and yonge tonight.
.Scott Christ> T:  That was my Nintendo, asshole.  And my brother kicked
my ass for that shit.
.Mr. T> Scott: GOOD! I BROKE YOUR "MIKE TYSON'S PUNCHOUT!" on purpose too!
.Patrick Barker> Sassy: Did they ever close down that Dunkin' Donuts that was in the news a few years ago?  Sorry, I moved from Toronto a year ago, Sassy.  I live in Edmonton now.
.Scott Christ> Fuck you!
.Ska-boom> Hey, if y'all are buying, I'll find a way to get there.  Even
if it's a few days from now.
.Ska-boom> Just save me a bar stool.
.Mr. T> Scott: and I was the one that smashed your copy of "Sonic and Knuckles". IT WAS ME, SCOTT, IT WAS ME, ALL ALONG!
.Patrick Barker> Sassy: I never went back to Dunkin' Donuts after that scandal.  Fortunately we moved out here to Edmonton... they have a nice Dunkin' Donuts here.
SASSYIS26> you guys are all kids
.Scott Christ> Kids?
.Neurosis> Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
.Doom> Ahem......Kidz?
.Ska-boom> Donut scandals are rough.
.Nathan Loney> How old are you Sassy?
.Tan> I'm 19....
.Mr. T> 20
.Patrick Barker> I'm 25.
.Ska-boom> 22, but my liver is 39.
.JetMet> Someone e-mail me the transcript of this. JetMet@OraclesWar.com
.BERRY> <<<<<<<<<<<<26
> .Mr. T busts out laughing!
SASSYIS26> too old for you kids, or at least more mature
.Nathan Loney> Riiiiiiiiiight.
.Patrick Barker> Sassy: SURE!
.BERRY> LOLOL
.Mr. T> Ska - send me one. you know the addy.
.Doom> Sassy...You 26?
.Patrick Barker> Come back tomorrow, we'll have spelling lessons.
.BERRY> how old are YOU Sassy
.Scott Christ> Berry:  I believe that SASSYIS26.
.Mr. T> MOMMY! Scott stepped on my foot!
.Neurosis> Gee, Sassy has been signed up for all of a half an hour.
.BERRY> <<<<<Ahem.........Sassy don't step on my Boy's toes.........know what I mean
.Patrick Barker> Catfight!  Catfight!  Catfight, eh?!
.BERRY> <<<<< Not a catfight.........Just sayin'
.Patrick Barker> Any more questions Sassy?
.BERRY> <<<<<<<<< Protects her guys~~!!!!!
.Patrick Barker> Hey Guys...
.Patrick Barker> I don't think Sassy is from Canada!  She's lying!
SASSYIS26> ater losers
.Scott Christ> I said that ten minutes ago, Pat!
.Tan> Sassy SUCKS.
.Scott Christ> She's full of shit!
SASSYIS26> - signed off -
.Patrick Barker> ATER Sassy!
.Nathan Loney> See ya, cunt.
.Mr. T> buh-bye, Sassy!
.Tan> Fucking cunt.
.Patrick Barker> WHOO-HOO!  I kicked her ass!
.Doom> Well Sassy............GET THE FUCK OUT
.Ska-boom> Congrats on a chat for the ages, guys.  I'm just sorry I didn't start logging earlier.
.BERRY> Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~!
.Nathan Loney> Yeah, she sure is old...
.Neurosis> Doom, she has been removed.
.Patrick Barker> Ska: I'm logging.
.Mr. T> *she's a crack whore* *clap* *clap* *clap*
.Ska-boom> No, don't ban her!
.Doug Troy> f'n cuntburger
.Nathan Loney> Pat was logging... get a transcript from him.  :)  Or post it.
.Ska-boom> Let her come back!
.Patrick Barker> lol
.Nathan Loney> Ska-- She ain't coming back, anyways.
.Tan> Betcha it was a guy who's just very...SASSY.
.Ska-boom> Oh, the hell she's not.  She'll be back.
.Doom> Yes...Let her come back.....
.Tan> Someone post that on O-Dub. ;)
.Patrick Barker> I had her going for SO long.
.Mr. T> POST that transcript!
.Nathan Loney> That was funny.
.Scott Christ> My dog's name is Sassy, so all I could picture was a tiny pekanese dog typing.
.Ska-boom> Pat: Where did you start logging at?
.BERRY> <<<<<<<< heh......darn~! I was SOooooooooo wanting a piece of that
.Matt Spaulding> lol at Scott
.Patrick Barker> T- will it count as a column for me?
.Mr. T> Spiral: YOU RULE!
.Neurosis> I haven't banned her from the forum yet, but she wanted to leave, so I let her.
.Mr. T> Pat: hell yes!
.Neurosis> Give her 5 minutes.
.Patrick Barker> Ska: As soon as I got here.
.Doug Troy> Sassy is a CUNTBURGER!
.Ska-boom> Oh, we're using YOUR transcript then.
.Neurosis> Ska, I have the entire thing logged.
.Doug Troy> With cheese and bacon!
.Ska-boom> Okay, cool.
.Doom> Neuro rules
.Scott Christ> That was possibly the stupidest and most utterly ridiculously entertaining thing I've been part of in months.
.Patrick Barker> T- the best column in OraclesWar history!
.Mr. T> LONEY ROCKS! Steve Corino: "Old School" - THAT RULED!
.Ska-boom> You all rock.  I laughed out loud at the "Steve Corino Elementary" thing.
.Patrick Barker> Scott: more stuff like this, and I'll be an IWP in no time!