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The Janey aPa Story
Date: 2/24 and 2/25/02

3zy's note: It was like a really bad Seinfeld episode, and the premise was simple to state;  Janey and Ska, going through their own relationship down cycles, entered into a bit of competition to see who could...um...get their groove back first.

The rules were simple:  1) not with each other, 2) nothing but proper intercourse could do.

Now keep in mind that Ska already had two strikes against him, since a) at the time, he claimed to have standards, and b) he didn't have a vagina (and no, we don't count the ones hidden on his hard drive)  Therefore, to truly level the playing field, he was given a two month handicap.  To win, he just needed to beat the spread, but we could hear the clock ticking when Janey said all she had to do was put on the right voice and make some calls, and pretty soon the shot clock was running on Ska.  Of course, it was all an excuse to set personal goals and live up to them, but somehow, Ska got the idea that one night he got drunk enough to "sweeten the pot" by putting the whole website on the line.

Okay, now that I'm in the driver's seat, I can admit that I was the one who "helped" him remember the website wager.  Considering the period we're talking about and the amount of adult refreshments consumed in an average night, I'm stunned it didn't happen more often.  Whether he truly believed me or was just playing along, he eventually stood by the shining lie I fed him, because he had honor, dammit. 

The deadline was February 24, 2002, and at midnight, when it was certain all was lost, the switch was thrown and the site turned lavender (same color scheme you're seeing right now, in fact).  It went over very well...with one exception, of course.

AIM conversation, 2/25/02

DoomIsNutz: I bet everyone has been Iming you to say how sweet the webpage looks.
SkaboomIzzy: SHUT
SkaboomIzzy: UP
DoomIsNutz: When are her cat pics going up?
SkaboomIzzy: NEVER
SkaboomIzzy: I'll inject threadapa.com with a LETHAL DOSE OF POISON
DoomIsNutz: A little testy I see.
DoomIsNutz: You should get some midol for those hot flashes.
SkaboomIzzy: I hate you.
DoomIsNutz: Did I tell you to take the bet? NO
SkaboomIzzy: Janey and I will negotiate something out.
DoomIsNutz: ANYONE WITH A IQ OF 20 WOULD NOT TAKE THE BET.
DoomIsNutz: But noooooooooooo
DoomIsNutz: YOU WERE FACED
DoomIsNutz: Still hate me?
DoomIsNutz: :-D
SkaboomIzzy: Why didn't anyone stop me, dammit?
DoomIsNutz: I told you not to.
DoomIsNutz: I pointed out that a woman has a much easier time getting some.
SkaboomIzzy: I still hate you all.
DoomIsNutz: But of course, I am old and SOME PEOPLE DON'T LISTEN TO ME WHEN THEY ARE FACED.
DoomIsNutz: It's OK, SKAGETA.
DoomIsNutz: :-D
DoomIsNutz: I think Janey was wanting to put some Vibrators on the site too.
SkaboomIzzy: It won't happen.
DoomIsNutz: Bet that OZ is a real cute cat.
DoomIsNutz: Can't wait to see those pics.
SkaboomIzzy: *mumble*grumble*
DoomIsNutz: Can't believe I write for a chick site now.
DoomIsNutz: I am so ashamed.
SkaboomIzzy: Something will happen to remedy this.
SkaboomIzzy: I'll make sure of this.
DoomIsNutz: I should do a Stone Cold parody of you and janey.
DoomIsNutz: STONE COLD JANEY: WHAT
DoomIsNutz: Ska: But I...STONE COLD JANEY: WHAT
DoomIsNutz: That would be cruel.
SkaboomIzzy: I hate you.
DoomIsNutz: ::thumbs up::
DoomIsNutz: Mind if I post this?
SkaboomIzzy: Sure, why not.
DoomIsNutz: Coolness.

(Doom's comment:  "I sense a wee bit of hostility on Ska's part...just a wee bit...")

...and then, THE POWER PLAY...Janey had the front page for all of 18 hours when the other shoe dropped.  Ska cut a deal and took back what he was paying the bill for at the time.  The statement on the front page made it sound diplomatic enough (to a point, anyway):

"Oh, you poor suckers.  Didn't think you'd get rid of me THAT easily, did you?  Janey and I have struck a deal... the main site is back to normal, she gets her own little section to post cat pictures or whatever the hell she wants.

"So life goes on as it always has, and you all can kiss my ass."

But of course, he amplified these key points in the chatroom...

DRUMMAJORMAN: HAHAHAHAHA
GOODEAR: I'm surprised Janey hasn't given Ska more of a reeming... oh well
DRUMMAJORMAN: CHECK THE PAGE, BITCHES
CRAZEDOG55: Yo ucan even HEAR the gum hit his hand
DRUMMAJORMAN: MAKE SURE YOU REFRESH IT
MANINDAARENA: I see, Mr. Boom
GOODEAR: which page?
MANINDAARENA: you still got your ass kicked on the bet
MANINDAARENA: hahaha
DRUMMAJORMAN: www.threadapa.com/index.html
DRUMMAJORMAN: BUT I STILL HAVE MY SITE
DRUMMAJORMAN: YOU CAN ALL KISS MY ASS
JTTS: boooooooo
MANINDAARENA: www.threadapa.com/janeyapa/stephrate/?
JTTS: I was gonna write gay porn.
JTTS: :(
MANINDAARENA: uhhhh chaz
DRDOOM666: Poor Ska
DRUMMAJORMAN: You still can on Janey's godawful section
JANEY271: I am WAY too nice.
DRUMMAJORMAN: PERFECT MUSIC~!
MANINDAARENA: yes you are Ms. Janey
DRDOOM666: WHY IS THERE A FUCKING PURPLE BANNER ON THE PAGE
JANEY271: I should at least get modded for this
DRDOOM666: CAUSE SKA LOST
DRDOOM666: LOSER
MANINDAARENA: you should get forum wizard, actually :)
JSANDERS108: SKA IS A CHEATER
JTTS: MOD JANEY
JANEY271: yes he did
JTTS: MOD JANEY
DRDOOM666: hahahahahahahahahahaha
JSANDERS108: PERFECT WILL JOIN nWo
GOODEAR: Janey should get to stab Ska ...
JSANDERS108: I PREDICTED IT
MANINDAARENA: I'm a loser baby so why dontcha kill me
DRUMMAJORMAN: hey it was an AGREEMENT
JSANDERS108: AGREEMENT MY ASS
JSANDERS108: YOU GAVE HER AN ULTIMATUM
JSANDERS108: THAT OR NOITHIHNG
JSANDERS108: GREEEDY
CRAZEDOG55: Where is the Dunken Donuts Center anyway
JTTS: You wouldn't even give her the forum.
JANEY271: oh quiet you
JTTS: MOD JANEY
DRDOOM666: hahahahaha
DRUMMAJORMAN: I thought you were all on MY side?
DRUMMAJORMAN: When did this change?
JSANDERS108: WE LUV JANEY
DRUMMAJORMAN: F-ing traitors. :(
EASYEW: When you LOST, DUH
JANEY271: Chaz, you are hereby my webmaster
JTTS: when we noticed Janey had bigger boobies than you.
MATTSUTTON1: The Dunkin' Donuts Center is in Providence, Rhode Island
JTTS: woo-hoo!
MATTSUTTON1: and I WAS ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE, SKA
JTTS: USA
CRAZEDOG55: Rhode Island
JTTS: USA
JANEY271: go put a picture of yourself in a dress on my page
JTTS: USA
JTTS: ...
MANINDAARENA: I've found situations where guys have bigger boobs than girls, chaz
CRAZEDOG55: Do fans in Rhode Island remember Mr. Perfect?
DRUMMAJORMAN: HAHAHA CHAZ
MANINDAARENA: not saying that's the case here, buuuut......
%UGOGIRL99 has joined the chat.
JSANDERS108: GIRL!
DRDOOM666: Hiya UGO
JSANDERS108: YOU GO!
JTTS: UGO
UGOGIRL99: hi folks
MATTSUTTON1: YOU GO GIRL
JTTS: SOULMATE
JSANDERS108: PERFECT = nWo
JTTS: OMG! A/S/L UGO!
JTTS: LOL!
JSANDERS108: DAMN IT CHAZ THAT IS MY GIMMIC
JANEY271: I'll put my boobs on my page and we'll see who gets the hits
JSANDERS108: get your own
GOODEAR: I'll be on your side Ska, if you let me have Tuba Butch
UGOGIRL99: 32/f/michigan
EASYEW: Gets WHAT?
JSANDERS108: JANEY BOOBS
EASYEW: Oh, HITS
JTTS: oh. You're almost old enough to be my mom.
DRUMMAJORMAN: Under one condition, Goodear.
EASYEW: Sorry, I just got distracted.
JSANDERS108: UGO WILL YOU SHOW YOUR BOOBS?
JTTS: my mom is not my soulmate.
GOODEAR: Name it
DRDOOM666: I prefer DSL
MATTSUTTON1: I may be on your side, Ska, but THE BOOBS ARE CALLING ME
DRUMMAJORMAN: He must never, ever speak. And constantly hit people with his tuba.
CRAZEDOG55: THESE FANS SUCK
GOODEAR: No sweat
JTTS: yes they do.
DRUMMAJORMAN: All yours.
JANEY271: you are all my people.
DRDOOM666: BOOBS
DRDOOM666: Yay
JSANDERS108: KICK AUSTIN IN THE INJURED HEAD
EASYEW: I like Ska...but...
EASYEW: DUDE
GOODEAR: I think Janey should be nice to SKA... SKA IS GOOD AND PURE AS FRESHLY FALLEN SNOW.... GO STEELERS~~~~~~~~~!
EASYEW: BOOBS
DRDOOM666: DO NOT TAUNT THE DANCING AUSTIN HEAD
JSANDERS108: JANEY YOU GOT IT BACKWARDS
JSANDERS108: YOU ARE MINE
DRUMMAJORMAN: WHAT stomps
MATTSUTTON1: I thought Doom and Janey were an item, Snow. When did that change?
DRUMMAJORMAN: KICK WHAT STUNNER
CRAZEDOG55: holy crap that was a weird match
JTTS: How much older do you think Perfect is than Austin?
GOODEAR: Ska that was the best recap EVER!
URCHYN has joined the chat.
DRDOOM666: Matt, It nevah changed.
GOODEAR: How many flips did Perfect do?
DRDOOM666: Hiya Urchyn
URCHYN: Hiya dr.
DRUMMAJORMAN: None. Just fell over backwards.
JANEY271: where is my comfort?
MATTSUTTON1: So the wheelbarrow had three cinderblocks.
JANEY271: I have lost my beloved site
JSANDERS108: HE BROKE THE CAMERA MAN'S LEG
JANEY271: I put my heart and soul into that site
UGOGIRL99 has left the chat.
JTTS: there there.
DRDOOM666: Poor Janey
GOODEAR: I will support you if I can use you in my e-fed
DRUMMAJORMAN: I'ts just a subsidiary of MY site!
JANEY271: NO I DON'T
JANEY271: I HAVE A CHEAP IMITATION
JANEY271: DON'T PLACATE ME
JSANDERS108: SKA CHEATED
DRUMMAJORMAN: You made the deal, sister.
JTTS: Big words like "placate" scare me.
GOODEAR: SKA placates all very well, never be cross with Ska!
KSMCAN: Damn.
JSANDERS108: HAHAHAHA
JANEY271: too nice.
JSANDERS108: that was FUNNY
DRUMMAJORMAN: CINDER BLOCK BROKEN ON AUSTIN'S KNEE
MANINDAARENA: POWDER BLOCK
JSANDERS108: BROKEN TO DIUST
JSANDERS108: DUST I TELL YOU
JSANDERS108: POOF
URCHYN has left the chat.
JSANDERS108: SKA YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT
MATTSUTTON1: and Hall's bleeding?
JSANDERS108: YOU ARE A CHEAT AND DECEVER
GOODEAR: Ska can change all subjects... he rules and must be treated as such
JSANDERS108: NO JR!!
JSANDERS108: NO KING!!!
JANEY271: Snow... be nice
JSANDERS108: NOTHING
CRAZEDOG55: what an absolute HORRIBLE way to end RAW
JSANDERS108: I am never nice
JSANDERS108: you know that
KWAUGH: I loved that ending
KWAUGH: That was awesome
GOODEAR: Can I get a "Ska rules" chant?
GOODEAR: SKA RULES
GOODEAR: SKA RULES
MATTSUTTON1: SKA R00LZ
MATTSUTTON1: SKA R00LZ
MATTSUTTON1: SKA R00LZ
KSMCAN has left the chat.
GOODEAR: come on you know the words!
GOODEAR: SKA RULES
DRUMMAJORMAN: Thank you...
GOODEAR: SKA RULES
DRUMMAJORMAN: thank you.

Of course, the ultimate revenge occurred the next night when, as a "consolation prize", Janey took on the gavel of moderatorship, a hammer which she's hung onto in a predominately guys' room.  On top of that, for the next year, the basic black design the site was using at the time had a lavender stripe across it, which had to make Ska's eyes bleed every time he looked at it.  That's what some guys get for trying to be clever.