(3zy's note: Okay, I gave you every possible chance to just walk away from this page, but you politely declined, so now you're going to have to deal with this scar on your soul for the rest of your life. It began as an innocent "whip it out" jollython, but then Ska gave us one of those "you know..." moments, and now we wish we didn't know.  You're stuck with it now.  There's a construction cone reference in this transcript, which refers to the night Chaz broke up a sexcam show by asking the woman to...wellll, I'm staying away from that story.  I DO have my limits.)

Janey271: all right Ska, you heard em, get with the peepee showin
Ska: For $50, I'd consider it
FUKUYANKEES (Chaz, I believe): hope you didn't miss it there
FUKUYANKEES: quick flash
Kelvin_Cabrera: liar
FUKUYANKEES: so you're no 2 dollar whore
Doom: Was that a piece of spaghetti?
FUKUYANKEES: you're a 50 dollar whore
Janey271: I miss the ol cam hijinx
Janey271: no more toilet cam
Ska: Hey, $50 gets me another buyin at PartyPoker
Doom: Or was that pencil lead?
FireThunder: "No thanks, I don't smoke."
FUKUYANKEES: BIG OL' PIECE OF BEEF
Ska: I've used my cam for evil before
Doom: I don't think Macho Man is rushing to bust down your door and scream SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM
Kelvin_Cabrera: Texas Tubesteak, huh Chaz?
Doom: NP: The Boss Racing In The Street
FUKUYANKEES: Hung like a Steer
Janey271: does this involve Tealia?
Ska: ... maybe.
FUKUYANKEES: OF COURSE IT DOES
Janey271: ew.
MRPORKY: if you have pictures of her titties
FireThunder: I need a cam... HOT CAM SECKS
Ska: I don't
FUKUYANKEES: it continues to involve her!
Ska: But she has pictures of me
FireThunder: Oh my GAWD.
MRPORKY: oh good lord
Doom: omg
FUKUYANKEES: Ska sends daily nekid pictures in the hope that it'll get her in the mood
Kelvin_Cabrera: computer or just polaroids?
Janey271: hahaha
Ska: Okay, who wants to hear the whole story
Doom: I DO
MRPORKY: NOT ME
FireThunder: Sure, why not.
Doom claps
FireThunder: :)
MRPORKY: for the love of god
FUKUYANKEES: with computer pics, she can make poster sized!
Janey271: nah... I've heard all I need to hear
MRPORKY: STOP THE BURNING
Kelvin_Cabrera: answer my question first.
Kelvin_Cabrera: computer or polaroids?
Ska: Patience, young Jedi
Doom: story story story
FUKUYANKEES: wallpaper her whole room
MRPORKY: awesome
FUKUYANKEES: in Ska patterns
MRPORKY: new scrubs episode~~~~~
Kelvin_Cabrera: I'm a paduwan, motherfucker.
FUKUYANKEES: "is this white splotch from the camera...or...
Ska: At one point during our phone...um, "conversations"
Janey271: I think all questionable pictures of me have been lost or destroyed
FUKUYANKEES: seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeex
FUKUYANKEES: or
Ska: She always used to talk about how much fun it'd be if she had a cam
FUKUYANKEES: have
FUKUYANKEES: they
Ska: I mentioned that I had one
Janey271: and before you inundate my mailbox with evidence otherwise Chaz, I mean pictures with my face in them
Ska: So one thing leads to another
FUKUYANKEES: questionable is a loose term
Janey271: I'm a loose girl
Ska: And my V-day present to her ended up being a gallery of cam shots
FUKUYANKEES: no shit
Janey271: hahahaha
FireThunder: DOH
FUKUYANKEES: ewwwwww
MRPORKY: oh good lord.
Janey271: oh my.....
KelvinNYC: what a romantic thing to do.
Gates: Uh oh
Ska: haha but wait it gets BETTER
FUKUYANKEES: and you thought that was a good idea because???
MRPORKY: i am guessing they were of the boudoir variety
Ska: She was on shitty AOL
Ska: So I couldn't e-mail them to her or anything
Janey271: I was gonna go with that Jeff, but I had no idea on the spelling
Doom: hahahaha
Ska: so what I did was create a hidden, unlinked-to directory on the threadapa site
Janey271: ...
MRPORKY: i just played the Simpsons game and one of the hidden cards was "boudoir photos of homer"
MRPORKY: oh god
Doom: NP: Beatles Getting Better
MRPORKY: is it still there?
Ska: NO.
MRPORKY: thank god
Gates: Dude, why would you ask? (-:
FireThunder: Um...
FUKUYANKEES: what a shame, we could have set up a spider to find it
Ska: I told her, here's where to get these pictures. They will be up for two hours, then they're gone forever
KelvinNYC: he's asking for me Gates
KelvinNYC: I cant seem to over-anxious
FUKUYANKEES: why not?
Gates: Ah. . .good cover. . .had me fooled. . .(-:
FUKUYANKEES: not like people will think you're any gayer than you already are
Janey271: turn off, duh
Ska: So she d/led them, I deleted them from the site, then from my hard drive
FUKUYANKEES: playin hard to get?
FireThunder: This sounds like a job for... GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH
Ska: gooooood luck
FireThunder: ... not a job for me, though.
Gates: So what site did they eventually appear on?
FUKUYANKEES: did you NSA overwrite them 7 times, ska?
Ska: Only about 5
FUKUYANKEES: "www.huggybears.com"
Doom: RBS does 10 overwrites.
Janey271: I really shouldn't ask this....
Ska: But you're going to
FUKUYANKEES: but you're going to
Janey271: uh huh
Janey271: what kinda pictures are we talkin about here
KelvinNYC: yeah.
Ska: Pictures of me disrobing then brandishing my erect penis
FUKUYANKEES: gerection?
KelvinNYC: full body or just cock shots?
Janey271: like straight penis shots.... or come hither looks
FUKUYANKEES: OH DEAR
Doom: ew
FireThunder: Search for gohan_etling_in_repose.jpg
Doom: ew
Doom: ew
Janey271: whoa.
Ska: YOU ASKED.
FUKUYANKEES: only brandishing?
Gates: Dude, how long did it take the proctologist to find your head?
FUKUYANKEES: or further FONDLING
Doom: No latex dolls were involved?
FUKUYANKEES: and further still...
FireThunder: Goddamn, do I need to get drunk after this chat. Wow.
Ska: no props of any kind
FUKUYANKEES: EXPLODING
Gates: Dude, that's just. . .ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. . .
MRPORKY: wow
MRPORKY: i'm just...
MRPORKY: wow
FUKUYANKEES: so were any construction cones used?
Gates: Why the hell wait until after chat?
Ska: What???? If you can't do cam-porn for a woman you think you love, then you have NO SOUL
Gates: Chats like this are the first step on the train to Robert Downey, Jr.-town. . .
FUKUYANKEES: Beth Frost has ZERO pics of me nekid
FUKUYANKEES: ZERO
KelvinNYC: because they don't exist.
FUKUYANKEES: which, I forgot and missed our 3 year anniversary a couple weeks ago
FUKUYANKEES: ...right. they don't exist
FUKUYANKEES: ....exactly.
Gates: Is this chat being logged?
Doom: Oh yeah
Ska: I honestly hope not
KelvinNYC: Ska: what you did took balls. I applaud you.
Doom: :)
Gates: Thank you, Unky Doom. . .
Ska: Aww shit it IS being logged
Gates: Kelvin: Yes it did. . .would be a funny looking penis picture with no balls, one would suppose. . .
Ska: Oh well
FUKUYANKEES: Kelvin, what he did showed balls. That's what you applaud.
Ska: Well look
FireThunder: ... and there's the spit take.
FUKUYANKEES: Gates and I are on the same wavelength
Doom: Ska, we still love you. Just from a safe distance.
Ska: It seemed the next natural step after marathon phone sex
FUKUYANKEES: like 300 yards
Gates: Chaz: That should scare one of us. . .
Doom: I was thinking of 500 miles, but whatever.
FUKUYANKEES: soooooo....ska
FireThunder: Oh cool... the Amazon.com banner at Seadawg's is advertising R.D. Reynolds' book.
FUKUYANKEES: did you learn any lessons from this?
Ska: You'd think so, but no.
Janey271: let the bitterness own you totally
Gates: Fear leads to anger. . .anger leads to hate. . .hate leads to SHOWING YOUR PENIS TO SOMEONE YOU HARDLY KNOW. . .
KelvinNYC: I'm assuming she got rid of the pictures once you and she were no longer a couple?
Janey271: ... I'll find out!
MRPORKY: ska, i feel like i don't even know you anymore
Ska: She said she got rid of them after a week or so... they were on the laptop that she took home on weekends
Gates: To the contrary. . .I feel like I know almost too much. . .(-:
Doom: uh huh
Janey271: so... just out of curiosity, got any dirty pictures of Matt?
Ska: Janey... if you ask her that, she's liable to try to kill you
Janey271: she is bigger than me.
Janey271: a lot bigger.
Janey271: hahahahaha
Janey271: I kid.
Doom: NP: A Perfect Circle Three Libras
MRPORKY: yowza
FireThunder: Man, that's cold.
Doom: ouch
Doom: like whoa
FUKUYANKEES: Ska, are you gonna let her talk that way about the woman you thought you loved?

(and as if that wasn't bad enough...later that same night)

Ska: Man, I put a lot of time and thought into those pics
Ska: I even shaved for them
HarryNipples (Chaz again): ewww
HarryNipples: Google is going public next year
FireThunder: Oh God I know what that means now...
FireThunder tries to stab himself in his mind's eye.
FireThunder: Uncleeeean... uncleeeeean.
Ska: I even took the risk of wearing jeans without underwear
WORLDWIDER: eh, now she ain't really respondin so why fuckin bother
HarryNipples: Ska
HarryNipples: did you then wear those jeans again?
HarryNipples: because you're going to hell if you did
Ska: Well it was only for a few minutes, and I did launder them afterward
HarryNipples: y'know who has really nice nipples?
HarryNipples: SHANNON DORHRETY
Ska: I tell you what
Ska: if I got into shape, I wouldn't mind being a male stripper
HarryNipples: that, above everything else tonight, is unacceptable
Ska: What?
HarryNipples: showin bologna to one girl over the internet is one thing
HarryNipples: professionally showing it to a bunch of 40 year old divorcees is something all together different
Ska: Yeah, 'cause I'd get PAID
HarryNipples: and you'd be a WHORE
FireThunder: And be mocked less. Well, except by Chaz.
HarryNipples: naked DDR is NOT career training