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Playboy Pictorials
We Don't Wanna See
Date: 3/4/05
3zy's note: Somebody posted a link
to pix from Playboy's Women of Home Depot, the follow up to
the controversial Women of Walmart. The concept that Hef's
magazine has
become a bottom feeder like (most of) the rest of us took root and spun
out of control. It's not a classic by any stretch, I posted the
best idea on the
board ("The Women of Dixie Cups: Leave It In Too Long and the Bottom
Falls Out") instead of here, and in the cold light of day, I should've
gone with "Goes
Down Great On A Cracker" for Women of Cheez Whiz. It's
just Wade and me here, for the most part, and if his pregnant wife is
reading this over his shoulder, I tried to tell him Jean was a great
first name if it's a girl, but he's a freak like that, as you probably
already know.
Ska:
none of them are really anything spectacular
Matistic: eww, several of
them are not so nice.
Ska: nice, but not OMG
AWESOME
Ska: and I think Playboy
is officially "out of ideas"
Matistic: The first one
was the only one that was really nice.
SonnyChiba: Chaz's post
about his job was the highlight of the day
Ska: what's next, "The
chix of Chick-Fil-A"?
SonnyChiba: The only one
I ever was in had 3 smokin' latin girls
SonnyChiba: find them you
might have something
3zy: Them Titties Ain't
Slow: The Girls Who Work the Fry-a-lator at McDonalds
SonnyChiba: hahaha
SonnyChiba: I'm out folks
SonnyChiba: G'night~!
SonnyChiba: *PART* Left
room.
Ska: oooh
Ska: "The Wenches of Long
John Silvers"
3zy: "The Bookworms of
Barnes and Noble"
3zy: "The Donut Holes of
Krispy Kreme"
3zy: ...oh, I'm so sorry
for that one...
Ska: bwahaha
Matistic: Besides, only
high school chicks work at Krispy Kreme. That would be like the Tator
Tots of Sonic.
Ska: "Waffle House
waitresses: Scattered and smothered"
3zy: ahahahahahahaWHA?
Matistic: Brings whole
new meaning to "Moons over My Hammie"
Ska: that's Denny's, I
thought
Matistic: it is
Matistic: This is a
creative process. Go with it.
Matistic: The Women of
Dobbs: Oiled and Lubed.
Matistic: Hardees:
Monster Burgers
Ska: bwahaha
Ska: KFC: The Eleven
Herbs and Spices REVEALED
Matistic: hahaha, ok we
needed to start this earlier. Easy you aren't helping.
Matistic: The women of
7-11: Open 24 Hours a Day
3zy: Doggonnit...
3zy: Okay...
3zy: The Women of
Goodwill: Charity Cases
Matistic: oh that's just
mean
3zy: You've obviously
never seen the women who WORK at Goodwill
Matistic: AA: One drink
is all it takes
Matistic: Toys R They
3zy: Bellringers Of The
Salvation Army: Put A Little Something In the Bucket
Ska: hahaha delightful
3zy: Women Of
Cablevision: Pole Climbing From Dawn To Dusk
Matistic: The Gaps
3zy: Or...
3zy: since I've got
Crossing Jordan on my mind tonight...
Ska: Banana Republic: No
Innuendo Needed
3zy: Women of the Morgue:
A Stiff One Before Bed
3zy: Women of Nabisco:
Look At My Cookie
Matistic: bwaaahahaha
3zy: Anybody else?
Matistic: Thinking...
Matistic: I keep
censoring myself.
3zy: Oh, screw that
Matistic: The ideas fly
in and out.
Matistic: Cambells
Matistic: Cheese Wiz
3zy: Campbell's: Mm-mm Goo
3zy: Or is that more of a
Hustler theme?
Matistic: See!
3zy: We're good people at
heart...
Ska: haha
Ska: I'm headed to sleep,
good luck
Ska: *PART* Left room.
3zy: If this was the SA
forum goons, there would be a concentration camp gag at the end of this
Matistic: heh
3zy: Okay, throw some
companies at me and I'll give you the double entendre
3zy: We'll go tag team
Matistic: The women of
Best Buy: Protection Plan Included
3zy: The Women of Dairy
Queen: We Treat You Right
3zy: OR
3zy: "Turn Me Upside
Down, I Don't Fall Out of These Cups"
Matistic: ha
3zy: I'd try "The Women
of Serta", but that's too damn obvious
Matistic: I felt the same with Bed Bath and Beyond
3zy: I mean, come on...
PERFECT SLEEPERS IS RIGHT THERE
Matistic: Women of the WNBA: We're straight. No, really.
3zy: Women of the Disney
Store: I Got Your Mouse Ears Right Here
Matistic: when you had
Pooh right there.
3zy: Oh fine, you want a
Honey Pot joke?
Matistic: Prints Plus
Boobs
Matistic: I can't do
anything else with Radio Shack.
3zy: Oh
3zy: Radio Shack
3zy: Your Parts Store
Matistic: perfect
3zy: Women of Ritz
Camera: Developing Things
Matistic: Gordens:
Perfectly Cut Jems. Ok that's not dirty at all.
Matistic: Starbucks: We
like'em black
3zy: OR
3zy: Cream and Two Sugars?
Matistic: better
3zy: Well, society did
9/10ths of the work for us...
Matistic: McAfee: Virus
Protected
3zy: Anything can sound
dirty in the right context
Matistic: Which is why
this works so well.
3zy: Women of Red Hat
Linux: Open Your Source
Matistic: Women Of Java:
Forget the Scripts
3zy: I would've made that
Mandrake Linux, but they're all French
3zy: and don't shave
Matistic: Women of
Kleenex: They like to Blow
Matistic: Pearl
Earings.....I got nothin else.
3zy: Pearl Earrings?
Matistic: Oh guess I
meant neckless
3zy: oooookay....
Matistic: See, nothin
else.
3zy: Women of the RIAA:
You Steal It, We'll Sue Your Ass
Matistic: The Post
Office: Raise Your Flag and Put It In the Box.
Matistic: Women Of the
APA: Janey and Chaz exposed.
3zy: Women of QVC: You'll
Pay For It...In Three Installments
3zy: Well, we COULD go
back to Women of the WWE: Trish Still Won't Return Our Calls
Matistic: Moen: Dripping
Faucets
3zy: Brita: We Taste
Better
Matistic: Hoover.
Matistic: Yeah, just
Hoover.
Matistic: Clean Carpets
3zy: So no "One
Attachment To Suck, One Attachment To Blow"?
Matistic: Ok that works
too.
Matistic: I'm trying to
work with "Can you hear me now" but getting nothing.
3zy: I'd say something
about Pepsi, but belching....
3zy: Verizon: Working the
Field For Better Reception
Matistic: Dominos:
Cheaper is better.
3zy: OR
3zy: We Get You There
Faster
Matistic: HA
3zy: Are you on the West
coast or are you just off tomorrow?
Matistic: Off tomorrow.
3zy: ah
3zy: For some reason I
got Women Of VH1: Music The Behind
Matistic: perfect....
Matistic: Skittles: Taste
the Rainbow
Matistic: Why do I keep
thinking of good ones for male pictorials?
Matistic: Bologna?
Matistic: Sonic foot
longs?
3zy: Women of Levitra....
3zy: um
Matistic: it's right
there.
3zy: Read The Package for
Side Effects
Matistic: Hoping You
Don't Have a Stroke?
Matistic: It's Been Four
Hours, I'm Dry?
3zy: hahahahaha
3zy: Women of the Dairy
Industry:
3zy: (wait for it)
3zy: Does This Taste
Funny To You?
Matistic: bwaaaahaha
Matistic: Women of
Velveeta: We Smell And Feel Funny, But You Eat Us Anyway
Matistic: Or
worse..."Everything Tastes Better With Cheese"
3zy: I was about to say
Women of the Pharmaceutical Industry,
3zy: but the only thing
that comes to mind is "Do Not Use If the Seal Is Broken"
Matistic: That'll work.
Matistic: Women of the
Cable Company: We'll Fuck You.
3zy: ooooo
3zy: That one cuts close
to the bone
Matistic: heh
Matistic: And I even like
cable
Matistic: Women Of ESPN:
HD Highlight package available.
Matistic: Bud Light is
too simple. Needs more depth
3zy: Something about cans
and longnecks, I'm sure
Matistic: Sony: Play with
our Stations
Matistic: That doesn't
even make sense.
Matistic: Live in Your
World, Play in Ours has a new meaning for me though.
Matistic: Folgers is
screaming at me, but I can't get a handle.
3zy: Either "The Best
Part of Waking Up"
3zy: OR
3zy: "Scoop Out Some
Crystals and They'll Follow You Anywhere"
3zy: Cos we already did
the "Cream and Two Sugars" bit
Matistic: True.
Matistic: Skoal: Women
who like to spit.
Matistic: Oh that was
gross.
3zy: A Pinch Is All It
Takes
3zy: Aw, I missed you
talking about Sony...
3zy: because "Easily
Modded" was THERE
Matistic: ha
3zy: Women of AOL
3zy: um...
3zy: WE SUCK
3zy: perfect
Matistic: Give Us a Try
And We'll Never Leave
Matistic: Or more
simples, Herpes
3zy: Try To Quit
Me...I'll Give You A Free Month
Matistic: Bic: Dip Your
Pen In This Ink
3zy: Microsoft
3zy: Fear, Uncertainty,
Doubt
3zy: No, that's not it
Matistic: Open our Windows
3zy: Free At First, But
Only To Put The Competition Out of Business
Matistic: nah
3zy: Oh, it's Drawn
Together...
Matistic: Double Clit
3zy: We're still thinking
of Playboy, aren't we?
Matistic: I think so
3zy: Women Of Nickelodeon
3zy: A Fist Up The Prize
Wall
Matistic: bwaaahahah
perfect
laci32: *JOIN* Entered
room.
Matistic: Sesame Street
Walkers
laci32: dang you gotta
add a room sucks you right in lmao
Matistic: oh hi laci!
laci32: Hi and bye sorry
laci32: *PART* Left room.
Matistic: heh
3zy: Let's try
3zy: TICKLE ME, ELMO
Matistic: HAHAHAHA, too
much to work with here.
Matistic: BoobBah. Ok you
may not get that.
3zy: Dunno...
3zy: Women of Red Bull:
Gettin' Your Wings
3zy: Ooookay, this is
peculiar...
Matistic: ?
3zy: Catholicism is the
#1 room
Matistic: What a shock.
3zy: and their listing is
Alice's Restaurant
3zy: SHRINK, I WANNA KILL
3zy: KILL
3zy: KILL
3zy: KILL
Matistic: hehehe
3zy: A-MEN
Matistic: Happy Days:
Aaaaaaaaaaanus.
Matistic: Sorry, couldn't
let that go.
3zy: ANYWAY
3zy: Women of Geico: 20%
Off
Matistic: Women Of
Firestone: Popped Tires
3zy: Women of Cartoon
Network: Boing. Bam. Splat.
Matistic: awesome
Matistic: Women of Fox
News....this should be easy. ....
Matistic: Splitting
Hairs? no
3zy: Red States?
3zy: Think about it for a
moment...
3zy: Well, maybe Pink
States, to be fair
Matistic: Capitalists Suck
Matistic: nevermind
3zy: mmmmkay...
Matistic: The woman of
Food Network is too easy.
3zy: Laying Out The Full
Spread, maybe?
Matistic: Cream Pie?
3zy: There's nothing I
can do with The Women of Moon Pies
Matistic: Stuffed with
cream?
3zy: Women of Snapple:
Made With The Best Stuff
Matistic: Women of Rice
Cakes: Dry and Unsatisfying
3zy: Women of The Organic
Foods Industry: Not a Shaver Among Them
Matistic: The Women of
Water: Only as Dirty As the Town You Live In.