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A film by EasyEW...not Quentin Tarantino. (Did you want me to say "a Spike Lee Joint" instead?)

An on-again, off-again, action epic sheathed in an almost inpenetrable thicket of inside jokes.  "You had to be there," raves the New York Post...

The story behind the title: a hawkish, snide, and vaguely insane chatroom troll didn't care for our insinuations that his obsessions with missles and guns had a vaguely--ahem--sexual bent.  "A missle is a missle and a penis is a penis," he said, as if we "children" had to be taught the difference. My comment, after the inevitable booting: "You know what happens when you get a missle mixed up with your penis?  POONANI APOCALYPSE!"  As it turned out, I didn't have just any Poonani Apocalypse in mind, but Quentin Tarantino's Poonani Apocalype.  We started virtual casting right away.

My interest waxed and waned (over the space of four years, y'all), but I always knew how I wanted it to finish, and felt compelled to see it to the end someday. The result is the muddled mess you are about to see.  

At some point, I'll replace this paragraph with a handy index page to help you navigate the sprawl, but for its non-"member's folder" debut, I'd like you to take it in order and rediscover what may someday be the Epic of Gilgamesh of pasty chatroom people.  Also I made a few minor tweaks to the message board versions which I assure you do not change the originals' lack of entertainment value.

Why are you still here?  It's time to get started...